Pour the champagne
How life went past these days is of a little mystery to me too. I haven't felt more alive than I used to be. How do I say that, or should I say what happened that prompted my statement.Simple enough, I fell sick. Yesh, that is right, I fell sick. Not just physically sick, but mentally too. If I aint alive, would all these happen? Of course not. I am only truly human when one fall into a coughing fit, nose that is runny all the while, and shivering in the hot afternoon sun. Actually it isn't that hot, just warm. But that is good enough. Just want to get my point across that is.
As for my mental state. Yesh... it is not exactly in the best frames of mind recently. I felt neglected, I felt things are very different from the past. There are new friends I made, new things I got exposed to. But some experiences just keeps on coming back to haunt me again and again.
Spare me please... what have I done to deserve such an action upon myself? I always thought that I had done my best, and in return all I get is a simple thank you. People don't get wrong ideas, unless someone give it, be it willingly or unwillingly. I heard what Celia told me the other time, you never fight hard enough, you just give up so easily. For the things one wanted, you will have to go to the very end, until everything is gone...
I listened and I understood. I wouldn't give up. But am I given a freaking chance to prove that I am the one deserving of the spot in our lives? Just tell me even in a million years, you will still stick with the person who gave you the pack of lies so many years ago. I will stand down and say 'that's it, I give up!'.
I am freaking incoherent man...
posted by luxy @ 12:47 AM
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