Saturday, June 25, 2005

Disappearance report?

Well... not to disappoint anonymous, I’ve decided to type an entry on someone else's laptop on this beautiful Saturday, where I should be sleeping. Ok, why sleeping? Wasting a person's life away some people say. Well, I certainly have other views on that. First, sleeping is a privilege. Sleeping is a luxury and sleeping in class is heavenly, especially if one is on training courses. That’s because $ is the easiest to earn when you are on course... and you are paid is to sleep! Ha... to learn to appreciate, u buggers out there!

Back to the important stuff. Why have I disappeared? Actually, maybe it's not that important actually. Damn... who really cares if I had disappeared or not?! Maybe I had drowned myself in a pot of piss or something. Well, not really a pot of piss, firstly because you probably won't drown in a pot of piss, more of ammonia poisoning! Secondly, drowning in a pot of piss is remotely possible. It would be more possible if I had drowned in a barrel of HF. hydrofluoric acid that is. Much stronger than HCL (our favorite chemical from secondary school!). Then again, I probably would melt instead of drowning. Oh shit... out of point again. Thank goodness this isn't a GP paper or something close to that.

Now where was I... let me re-orientate a bit?

Oh... ok, why have I disappeared? First thing is, I haven't disappeared physically, and I just disappeared for a while from the WWW. My computer had been gone for two weeks. I was using it for a while two weeks ago. But it just gave way suddenly. So I had been shut out from the net for two weeks. It wasn't that bad actually. From the two weeks, I realised I’m not a slave to the net. I don't do much on the net actually. Check my mails and stuff actually. Maybe just spend like fifteen useful minutes online. The rest is probably crap.

Just to sidetrack a bit again, if you guys notice, I’m always trying to type in proper words and sentences. It’s for my work purposes. I don't really wish to develop an improper manner to typing. Plenty of reports will be coming my way, so it's always good to type in good grammar structure.

Second point on why I have disappeared from www is that I’ve started working recently, for those who didn't know. Working as an engineer somewhere in AMK. That is the main reason why I haven't had the motivation to go library or MacDonald’s to find internet connections.

Tiring... n sleepy constantly.

These days I’m working on normal shift, that's 830am to 6pm. getting myself ready to get into the job. It’s not exactly the impression I had from all the classroom training and interview. Always heard from training people and during the interview that my fab is very stable and have very high yield. So I was thinking of a very relaxed life in my current job. When I got posted up, it was kind of different from what was painted. Maybe it was seen from another angle. There are always fine tuning everyday, and it's always hectic. Another point is everyday is a hectic day. There are always new issues coming up.

Good or bad, it really depends on how you see it.

I had always seen my company as a good company to start off and grow with. There are plenty of opportunities, be it learning or progressing. Its how one sees it and how much they are willing to put in to go earn and grab them. So now with all the new machines and processes to learn, I see myself very much involved in the development and improvement of a place which had already seen so much. No place is allowed to remain in its position and be sure of its place in the competitive world. Stay stagnant, and one would be left behind.

Not going to happen to me.

I’m going to work hard to make things the way I hope and want to be. I reckon staying stagnant is not my cup of tea. Maybe Raymond was right, I am a little ambitious. But one would not progress if they don't have plans and ambitions. Maybe little dreams of striking the toto or 4D are just one of those little distractions and joys, but those are never within control. The first view was just like what I felt about Mr. Tang. I personally think he is striking in a path that has plenty of opportunities, and a path that really depends on lots of hard work and some dependence on luck. If one is willing to put in effort, and give that 100%, plus the luck in life, one can always succeed. It is just how you want it to be.

Similarly, one has to take actions. Griping is a good way to reduce stress, but griping without a proper action plan is never the way out. Unless you are the big big boss, griping will get people below to move and do the things which you want them to be. But things aren’t always this case. You gripe, you reduce the stress and mental anguish a little. but no action means the issue is almost always never solved(not I say almost always never. some issues somehow will go away by themselves. seldom thou. but they are the same issues that can go away and come back again. so well...) so do something about it.

Somehow, I just realised that I haven't fully explained my second reason for disappearing. Well, everyday I reached home feeling really tired. In actual fact, I had appreciated the disappearance of the computer from my life for these two weeks. One would reach home and feel so tired everyday. Transport itself had taken quite a few hours of life daily life everyday. Close to three hours everyday I’m on a bus or mrt. Or walking to the mrt station or back. Of course I try to sleep a little once in a while. Getting up at six in the mornings and sleeping at ten plus eleven. Somehow for now, now matter how much sleep I have, it is never enough. I’m still tired. The main issue now is to get used to the whole biological issue. Physical preparation.

Maybe at work we used a lot of mental twisting. Been trying to learn as fast as I can so after a month or so, I can be capable of running a line by myself without the help of my supervisor. I think they had really high expectations of me. Some people may say I am giving myself undue stress on myself. What I feel about this issue is that some stress on me will push myself further. More importantly, out of a shell that sometimes tends to encapsulate people. Hiding in a shell is not going to work out well for my job or myself overall speaking. Plus the fact that if I can excel in the early stages, it's always a good impression that leaves in my boss and my big boss. Of course, impressing them is just the by product and one of the 'perks' of doing a good job. The important thing is I have achieved my goals and the satisfaction that comes with it. Not only that, achieving initial milestones and targets will push me further and give me the confidence to do a better job. Not just maintaining the standard, but to set another standard to test my own capabilities.

Sounds like bullshit huh? Mmm... it might be. It would be how one sees it.

So that explains why I’ve not been online so far. Been trying to find the best way to assimilate and learn at the fastest time. It sure takes a few more brain cells than lazing around. And sometimes, when one person had turn down a meet up session, I sometimes even appreciate it. I would have more time to rest man. But of course, I still have a social life. I still meet up with some of my pals now and then. In fact, I’ve been meeting up with a lot of people these days, and having a lot of dinner outings with my new found friends and colleagues. Not bad for a start for now. I think it's very important to strike a balance. Maybe now I know why ting had always griped about not having friends to go out with. But of course, everyone has to have their own times. Everyone has their own balance isn't it?

Touch on my new friends from my company. There’s plenty of them, like Michelle Isabelle kimhak zhiling shuqing Justin saysiong zeyuan Mindy whom hangs out together mostly. There’s also waileong haiyan meiling who hangs out less but are equally fun to be with. Last weekend we had a big makan session, where we went bouna vista for lunch makan, then Holland V to drink tea, followed by a dinner at geylang. Eat and eat and eat. Really get to see the different facets of life. Working should be like that isn't it? Work hard and play hard. Or for us, 'eat hard'. Ha... but of course, it would be harder when we all go to our departments, working at different shifts, different fabs. Everything will be different. But there will always be time to crap around. It’s just how it's arranged.

So... it seems like it has been a good start so far to the working life. Believe it, not all people would be praising their jobs and being so happy in the first three weeks. Some people say it is the honeymoon period, so I am so happy. Haven’t seen the shit yet. I am not worrying about it. I know what the crazy part of my industry is. Nothing is predictable and any damn thing is possible. Of course, I am seeing it in a positive note. Every thing that comes out unexpectedly is a new learning experience. Solving issues is my job, not creating them. And solving issues that pops out is a satisfying thing to do. Plus the fact that, if you don't see the shit, you will never appreciate the good things in life. Everything else in the world becomes a shade of just some color. You can be sure I’m going to gripe about my work sooner or later. But who don't? Griping is part and parcel of the job. If you don't gripe, it's even worse actually. You don't even know the shit had happened! Ha...

Well... I think I’ll shut up now. Too much crap. This is one hour of my precious weekend sleeping time! So long for now!