My Current World
Well guys... its been a while. With all the reality and fantasy all mixed up for quite some time, so now i shall bring you all back to just plain reality, my world, my reality.
My world as in what's happening nowadays. Been rushing my FYP report like there's no tomorrow. No, a little correction to that. I SHOULD be rushing my report like no tomorrow, but here I am, typing an entry for people who might (scarcely I'm sure) missed me and my posts.
Next saturday is my first draft dateline. I'm still wondering how I should be writing it in such a way that makes me look knowledgable. Or at least make it sound like I had been doing work for my one year, one final year. Or at the very very least, make it sound like I know what I have been doing. So here I am, reading more reports from other people, modifying their past work. Also in the agenda, is reading technical papers, submitted papers, journals (technical ones, not people's life stories), more papers... etc etc.
And I just realised my FYP supervisor is pretty one sided in the way he thinks. Whatever he felt is correct, is correct. That is after I read the most recent paper that he wrote, in which I am a co-author. Yesh that's right! You've read correctly! I am a technical paper submitted for INFOS co-author! Well... that don't make me much of a techie anyway. I just did a lot of experiments for the paper. And what was initially agreed upon when the first raw data came out, was all thrown out of the window during our very last meeting. I was wondering why...
I got my answer, after reading the paper. That's because my supervisor had written it in another manner. And I wonder why... well, we don't have cross section pictures to prove whatever we had believed in, so well... I just have to make things work.
That's about it for reality in words. Now some reality in picture. Pictures of my world. That means, my room.
First, lets see the place where I study. I used the table that my parents use for placing offerings during all those monthly rites. Yesh... maybe that's why I am 'blessed' and 'lucky' when it comes to exams huh? Let's hope it works for at least one last time!
Neat and tidy! NOT! Spot the little fella at the other end? You don't? Of course not, because he isn't even in the picture. I missed him by a few inches.
He's my study supervisor! I call him................... 'Monkey'. Anti-climax, but you think I care?!
Monkey
For those who thinks I am a neat freak because I am a Virgo... think again. I have orlible evidences against myself. The reason why I don't study at a proper study desk is because...
It's too damn messy... Anyway, it's too small for me. It was bought since 1991, when I was in Primary 5 or something. It fitted well back then. Not anymore now. So it has more or less become a dumping ground. Of course, I periodically do some cleaning up, like once or twice in five year's time. Yupz, that's pretty frequent already. So don't complain. It's MY table!
And so after a hard day's work (of surfing net, reading match reports, surfing net, reading match reports, check email, reading blogs, check email again just in case, surf net, read some papers, wonder around the house, stare into blank space, read some lecture notes, entertain myself... etc etc), what I do is, SLEEP!
Don't start your sneerings at me... I know what you did last night! You slept as well, didn't you?! After all your 'hard work' right?!?!
Here's my precious rest area
Bed! With accessories...
Top left corner. That's the control switch, which I can control the vibration of a certain spot on my bed. Nay... I'm not really a Stephen Chow buff, so no, that isn't a whatever switch which I had claimed. It's just a sword... for chasing off evil spirits and creatures. And all wrapped up, covered with dust probably.
On the right of bed, is Mr Snoopy. What else you wanna know about Mr Snoopy? Its a little gray, but I washed him. So Snoopy supporters, don't come screwing me. I love him as much as you guys do.
A little more on the right top, that's Ah Gu. Yesh, Mr Cow. With a little towel hanging from his neck... oops... where's his neck in the first place? Sure sounds a little sadistic... anyway, I love Ah Gu as well, and the towel is to dry my specs when I wash them. Any other questions on Ah Gu?
So that's about it for now guys! Questions?
Surrealism - Escape
“Time to take a rest…”
And so I thought… it has been almost nine months since I started working at this company. Frankly I don’t exactly love the work I do, but for a living, I fine with it so far. I had stepped into the lab today with a memo reminding us of our technical report data.
‘Dear associates, the date of submission for the technical report is scheduled at 17th of March. All drafts must be submitted on the 5th of March. Raw data are to be processed and presentation of results will be done on the 1st of March.’
How exciting it seems. I have around ten days to process my data. Not that I have a mountain of them, but I have enough to work me to death. Frankly I would love to go on a holiday after all this work. I was discussing with ZJ on the possibility of going to Hong Kong with the rest of the chums. Seems like he felt that either Thailand or Hong Kong would be great budget destinations. Maybe we can grab TS, Weng, Mr. Tang and JR along as well. Six guys over going should save us some hotel fees too I reckon. Mulling over the budget airlines fees as well. And we wonder when is a good time that we can go over. The department will be going on a lull around May and June period as there are a few new guys coming in and most of our facilities and machines are going to be undergoing major revamp and maintenance. I suppose that’s the good thing about being in the research department. We get these periodic lull periods, and with basic pay. Not bad huh? Maybe around late May would be a good time. That’s where they start all the changes, and later in June we can all come back and prepare for the new work year. Frankly I’ve never been to Hong Kong before. Heard it’s a pretty great place to shop and eat. I’m not much of a shopper, but I’m a pretty good eater though. Surely that would be a reason good enough for me to fly over for a short trip. Ha… food, glorious food! I would love to go down under to Australia as well. It’s a beautiful place, with great beaches, serene rivers, beautiful ocean line, great variety of food… there’s just so many reasons to go to Australia. Of course, the point is to go occasionally… if not the novelty will also die off. Pat had told me about how much she had want to sky dive, bungee jump and hop onto a hot air balloon for a trip five hundred feet above ground. But the one thing about Australia would be to be the high expenditures. I’ve got to plan more for this trip if we are going over. And probably get a week off, and head off in one of those off peak periods like September or October. That would be great isn’t it, since it would be spring/summer over there. I’ll think about it, and probably ask my cousin what are the great bargains to travel over there, and getting the best deals.
Well… back to the current situation. Frankly work had been seen slight retardation due to my over-bloated stomach these days. Haven’t seen a doctor yet for the ailment since the work schedule had been way too crazy. TS is giving up on getting more data for his current project. Like what he had said to me, ‘Work is never ending, especially in research. So the smart thing to do is to get just the right amount of data, sufficient to write your report or paper, and stop there. Leave the extra work for the next paper.’ That’s somewhat true in our research field. I had finished my last set of testing as well on the new material. My personal views had been echoed by Patrick, but somehow our boss had not been too agreeable on our views. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what could have been the implications these days, and seeing him rejecting the idea is a bit unfortunate. Patrick had seen my disappointment and gave me a brotherly and encouraging pat on the shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about pal, just write whatever you feel on the paper, and let the reviewing committee decide on the rest. If they don’t want some parts, just take them out.’ He said with all the experiences he had behind those words. Slowly I sipped my hell of a concoction and proceed on to work on the report.
I stepped out of office during lunch to retrieve my cell which I had forgotten in the morning. My goodness, it has to be the hottest spring we ever had over here. Winter’s over only for 5 weeks and the sun is already blazing like summer. We have the occasional rain, and that adds to the humidity that is killing everyone. I am seeing people all around me falling sick like flies. I saw Angeline sick yesterday too. Complaining of a sore throat… and the poor girl can only eat porridge. Initially had wanted to joke about her, but she don’t seem to be in the mood. Then TS was complaining on the increase in mosquitoes in his apartment. The heat and occasional rain had really got the mosquito season all accelerated. I have my fair share of night raids as well these days. The next victim is ZJ. He seems like a zombie these days at work. Even today too… despite being the weekends. And its only today did he tell me it’s the mosquito problem. He started in the oddest manner. ‘Hey, what’s price of mosquito coils?’ he inquired. ‘And mosquito coils just keep mossies away and not kill them right?’ I was working on a complex calculation at that moment, with those entirely crazy electric field induced breakdown phenomenon… I supposed I was pretty relieved and happy about the break of concentration, since I wasn’t really gaining any ground on that. ‘Hmmm… coils are really cheap. And if they kill mossies, you are probably poisoned by now as well.’ I replied with the most –matter-of-fact tone. And he started his repertoire of mosquito attacks and how they had kept him up all night long. I had those nights as well, just that he had five, and I have one. But the effect is still the same of course… sleepless nights. I emphathised with him and recommended a mosquito net. It’s pretty useful actually, just with a slight trouble on the setting up. But that, of course, is just a five minutes work. Anyway… not that mosquito is the main issue here. It’s the blistering hot weather! I could just perspire like a waterfall just by the trip to the lab. Its crazy man… and the pestilence! I better start posting up ‘take good care’ signs all around the lab.
I shall drown myself in vitamin Cs and herbal teas these days. Sleep will always be deprived… Mich had fallen into the ‘overworked and fell sick’ category. I better do my protection well…
Take care…
Surrealism - Memories Holiday
“Let’s not talk about it anymore…”
A long and rare holiday… just the right time I thought to get back all the energy lost over the past few weeks of frantic work and immense stress. Had a good lunch with the chums at one of the restaurants down by the street, followed by dinner with the family. And thinking that the next good thing to happen would be to have a good night’s rest. Unfortunately sometimes things don’t just happen the way you want it to be. It has to be one of the most puzzling stomach disorders I had for years. The pain just came on the stroke of three in the morning, and lasted till five. Sharp pain that pierce right through the stomach. The last time I had that kind of pain is a pretty severe food poisoning, as far as I was concern back then. Luckily it wasn’t that bad this time round, but the origin of the problem was as puzzling as solving a murder case. You have all your clues, but you make no sense out of it… oh well… so I spent most of my time in bed on the first day, hearing people having a good time out there. No, I wasn’t on a complaining note… I appreciated it in fact. I had a great rest, despite the persistent pain in the tummy. I had to go out in the evening with the chums, since I have already agreed to do so before hand. It would be so much of a spoilt sport if I haven’t gone over. AMJ was having a great night, slaughtering me and my paycheck. Ha… I wasn’t really too bothered about the money issue anyway, its good to see pals all gathering together and having fun and laughter. But the pain in the tummy really did restrict some of those fun… but well… everything’s going to end up well eventually… don’t they? So I got back the next morning, and had a relative short rest before proceeding to meet up with another bunch of friends for some games again. It was a pretty tiring second day of the holidays.
But I managed to get back home eventually. Pretty tired actually. Then I remembered having to meet Mich from the IT department for a coffee in the evening. So I had a little shower and proceed out to the coffee place next to our building. It’s amazing how many different types of shops and stalls we have down by the seventh street. There is this nice cozy bakery, with two sets of tables and chairs for the morning birds. They have the greatest bread around the neighbourhood… as compared to other streets… we have a little pet shop, thought they sell lots of birds… we have this little gift shops, and they sell stitching stuff and equipments… talking about stitching, Mich is into a bit of stitching herself too. Handicrafts which require lots of patience and skill. Mich always claims that she has a big temper to me. But well, so far the receiving end seems to be either her mom or her boyfriend. Maybe I had been lucky… well you never know. Well, we clicked well, and we have plenty of stuff to talk about.
We were talking about love the other day. I was jokingly saying how lousy a person I am, stating those as the reasons why I never got a girlfriend. I supposed she took it pretty seriously, and threatened to blow her temper if I don’t stop ‘degrading’ myself. Amazing…
It really brought back some memories… the one time I would experience the glass shattering into a million pieces. Few years ago, I got to know Juan. Those were the days, when one is so young and just does things without thinking. She is a sweet looking girl from next door. Back then I thought she was like a couple of years younger then me. But hell no… when I started chatting with her, she wasn’t. She has such a kiddish voice, so cute and angelic. We went out together… for movies, for dinner, or just sitting around in the park, talking about stuff in our life. We were like peas and carrots… we talked on the phone, late into the nights… we chat about how we should have met each other earlier, and talked about how things would go if we had been together, and what may happen if we get married. She is such a sweet girl… I followed my heart through and through, ignoring my mind all the while. In fact, I was so sure about it, I was so in love with her, hundred and ten percent. I asked her on one of those nights, where I had believed that love will be coming home too. No… so unfortunately… no… the answer I got from her is ‘I’m not ready yet, don’t wait for me. And you are too good for me’. Heaven came crashing down, thunder roars across the skies. I sat down, all and thoroughly heart shattered. A few days later… I gathered that I should give her some time. Yesh, she might not have gotten over her failed relationship. And I can wait. All because she is the one in my heart. A few weeks later, I got drafted and had been cut off from the rest of the world all so regularly. One day, three months later, I saw a message from her. ‘Sorry, I am now already attached’ greeted my weary, sleep deprived mind. Just when I pieced the glass together, she had to smash it up again…
I couldn’t forget her for some years to come. And from there on, I never dare to give that hundred and ten percent anymore. Sometimes I don’t even dare to try. I listen to my brain and not my heart… the next time I gave my heart another chance, it ended up at the wrong end of the station again. I told TS about it before too… he laughed at me, for being such a soft hearted idiot. “I haven’t heard of another idiot who couldn’t let go for 3 years” he scorned at me… in actual fact, I knew he loved his previous girl so much, that’s about the amount of time he spent getting over her too. He was lucky, his previous girl got married. That period of time he was really down in the dumps. But it put a stop to his misery… mine was like a endless pit… maybe that’s one of the reasons why we are both such great pals… we both love so deeply…
After that he knew how scared I am on committing again. Maybe he too… he would always say “let it be… let it just come by itself. Someday, someone is going to appreciate you as yourself, and you appreciating her as herself. No need to change, no need to hide. That’s how love should be.” I remembered I just nodded, with my coffee in my hands, at the same coffee place, at the same table which I am now seated with Mich. Slowly I sipped the coffee in my cup… looking out of the glass panel. “What are you thinking about?” she asked as she picked up her coffee, sensing me drifting off into my own world. “Thinking about love… I am just too tired to go find it anymore.” I said as I shifted my gaze upon her. She told me the same thing… “Don’t worry, the girl in your life will come find you.” and she ended that sentence with a trailing smile. I smiled back, and we both indulged in our coffee. I looked up into the skies, and saw the stars all out for the night. They are beautiful and they are lovely… they just reminded me to Tammy’s eyes. Big and sparkling… my thoughts just spiraled off soon after…
It's another lovely night… starry starry night…
Surrealism - A Reprieve or A New Beginning
“Hahaha… once again!”
For the first time in this winter, I see sun shining through my windows when I first woke up. The warm feeling upon my feet… something I haven’t felt for almost three weeks already. Isn’t it a signal that it’s going to be a beautiful day? And it’s a Sunday! I hopped off my bed, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Foraging into the depths of my fridge yielded a bunch of treasure… five slices of bacon, two pieces of ham, a soon to expired tub of margarine, half a packet of mashed up honey almond cereal and most invitingly, four cubes of luscious dark chocolate… my just bought bread and milk are sure going to come in handy right now! Out came my frying pan, spatula and cooking oil… no joke, research associates in my companies are all good cooks. With all the oil cracking and bursting under the extra hot oil… my bacon just sizzles… wooooooo… I just love to see the oil on the side of bacon sizzle. Off the pan and a slice straight into my mouth… “HOT! HOT! Ohhh…. Ohhh… GOOOOD!” food always tastes better when you cook them by yourself. My breakfast spread : four slices of bacon (one eaten already), two pieces of ham, one huge tub of honey almond cereal mixed in cold pasteurized milk, one cube of dark chocolate (the other three… save for other occasions!), four slices of bread with margarine… gluttony is a sin… AND HELL YOU THINK I CARE?! Hak Hak Hak!
Thirty minutes later, I was as bloated as a hot air balloon… just I go the other way. It went up, I went down, rolling on the floor…
Managed to budge, and peer over my windows. Oh great, the chums are having a soccer game today. I love a good game of soccer on a Sunday morning with the chums. The snow had prevented most of us from leaving the bed. The sun is up, time for play! And amazingly, my digestive system went on a five hundred percent overdrive and I was on the field in twenty minute’s time. It was a great day for soccer, and I was in the form of my life. I dashed from one end to another, made countless attacking and defensive headers, made some good tackles and interceptions. I even open the scoring for the day! What a corner it was, sailed over everyone, while my teammate had the slightest touch to it. Bounce once and appear inviting in front of me. No doubts and no mistake, I dispatched the ball into the bottom corner with no mistakes! 1-0! Just earned myself eight fantasy points and another five eventually for match winning goal! Yea… it was a great day indeed…
That sure is a signal for better times to come. The past weeks had been horrible indeed. Even pat had to hide from me sometimes. Once she even asked me if she had antagonized me… what a word… but no… that particular period was real bad. ZJ was at a seminar with me last Friday, technically speaking that is. He was late for it and was sitting in the row behind me. But he didn’t call me or anything, just sat there by himself. After the seminar he had asked me in the most cautious way, “is there anything bothering you?” he asked from a metre away. I was kind of confused by that statement actually. “You have that very strong aura around you again…” ha… oh well… maybe it’s just me huh? That’s true, it’s been quite some time since I first heard that comment about me. Since high school I reckon. Probably it is the eyes… some people say I have the looks of a killer, some say I look like a sick terrorist. What ever the case, no one had ever said I’m handsome. What a curse! In fact, there is something which I always hear people say,
“Girls like their boyfriends to be Tall, Dark and Handsome”
There is this friend who always ask me why I am never attached, citing I am already tall and dark. The story is very simple; no one has ever said anything about the weightage of each attribute. Tall 10%, Dark 5%, Handsome 85%. Period… enough said…
Anyway… here’s the reprieve I’m looking for. The main issue is, I am happy for now. Ha… how crazy life can get in this world, you will never know…
Work is great these days as well. The simulations are running well, the testings are going smoothly, with slight hiccups here and there. But mostly, things are going fine. Frankly, the good run that TS and I had for now was unprecedented. With all the good work going around, the technical paper that our boss is getting Patrick to write is all well and on the way. My data input will be in as well. Things are getting better as each day passes. I wonder if I am going to get a raise too… well… people get greedy and expect more during the good times, don’t we all? I’m guilty!
Managed to catch a ride down to City Central for an afternoon in the sun. There are street performances all round. Its amazing how these people knows when the sun is going to come out. They are ever prepared. A good seat by the fountain, a ham sandwich on my plate and a cup of newly brewed coffee on my table. Black without sugar. This artiste is performing a mixture of balancing of balls and coordination skills. And he juggles pretty well too… the person beside me was grabbed by him and ‘volunteered’. Lucky me… for now… but its all for the sake of fun and charity. My admiration for these street artistes, earning their bread and contributing to the less fortunate at the same time. A blue note I donated and off I went for a stroll by Clayton Park… the place smells like melting snow, though it’s still covered mostly by a blanket of white.
Lovely place…
Is it going to be a signal of a better beginning, or is it just a reprieve from my dark days? I walked on down the path of Clayton Park… I walked on down the Path of Life.
We’ll see soon enough…
