Surrealism - Passion and Obession
“Why? Why me?”I looked out of the windows of my lab. And I took a long sip from my cup of coffee. It’s another one of those days, where you wish you were somewhere else. I looked at the clock: 7.19pm. It’s the kind of time where you would wish to be spending with your loved ones. Having dinner, walking down town, catch a movie, grab a drink and spend some quality time in front of the fireplace. Or maybe by oneself, catch a Friday show at the theatre near Effendro Street, stroll around the music shop for a DVD or a catchy album, sit beside the fireplace with a nice book and a warm coffee. But here I am, looking at extredo simulations, bursting the capillaries in my eyes. Work commitments…
I saw a couple walking down by 7th street. The guy is following the girl, somehow in a pleading way. Then the girl stopped in her tracks. The guy stopped too. They stood there for a minute or so, right under the falling snow. Then in a split second, the girl turned and slapped the guy! I almost choked on my coffee… I stood up and walked closer to the side of the window. Hey… they look familiar… think the lady is from the office next door… what’s her name again? I just stood there and snapped my fingers for a moment. Yesh! It’s Qing! She used to be in the same group as us a few years ago. But she chose another career path and our liaison ended there. She is an independent lady, very strong willed and determined.
They are one of the longest running couple that I’ve known. And even then each pair of couples has their own ups and downs. And a slap seems to signal something serious… I wouldn’t want to speculate too much, first because it’s their personal lives and second, speculation won’t get me the truth anyway. “The guy cheated on her. Twice actually…” it’s ZJ speaking. The three of us started in this company together. ZJ and I stayed on while Qing went off to find greener pastures. That’s where she got to know her current beau. I’ve heard a little about him from the colleagues around and didn’t really have a good impression of him. But it’s Qing’s choice, so we have to respect it. But we do keep a look out for her at times, just in case she really needs us someday. And seems like the day is getting nearer…
“Girls just fall for jerks, don’t they?” I kind of mumbled to myself. “Yes, they do…” was the reply. It wasn’t from my brain, it was from ZJ. Someone once told me about how ladies have the kind of angel mentality, where they hope that they can ‘reform’ the wayward character in those jerks. In the end, not only did they not do that, they hurt themselves in the process. Bravery twenty; broken heart twenty. And she is such a great girl… it’s really sad to see how much they deserved a great guy to take good care of them, but instead falling prey to such evilness, pitching their love to these creeps. If heaven is benevolent, I really hope Qing will never fall again. I’ve seen her fallen not once, not twice, but three times. Your heart just breaks when you see such things happen again and again…
And not just her, I’ve seen this happen over and over to so many people. All I can do is to help them as much as I can. Advise them again and again, though I know feelings and emotions are overwhelming at time. Be there for them when they fall again. Hold on to them and help them stand up again. Pray hard for them that they will meet the right one the next time round. Lastly, keep my fingers crossed. I’ll do my very best; the rest is up to them. Fate and Destiny.
That scene got me pretty distracted from my work. I left her a message on her cell since she didn’t responded. Tried again after another hour, same response. Well… I wasn’t in the mind to do work anymore, so I left the lab pretty soon after. I didn’t want to go back home so early, since my mind was roaming somewhere to the depths of infinity. I just walked down 7th street, and came up to the local chill out area. I got myself a seat at the bar of NeoTrinity and ordered a martini. “What’s bothering you tonight dude?” Oyo asked in his usual Yankee accent. “Nay… nothing. Just some disappointing stuff.” I answered with a tinge of despondence. He knew what I wanted; a pat on my back, a smile and he left me alone with my drink. I just sat there and think…
Sometimes I just get sad over things that I can’t have control over. Maybe I am at times too concern over my friends, to the point where I can forget about myself. I feel their joy, their pain, their happiness, their suffering. Seems like Heaven gave me a Heart, and I’m using it the way Heaven might be proud of. Or maybe too much. In life, almost everything needs a balance. My emotions and feelings are flowing out way too much at times. Maybe that’s why I am feeling so vulnerable at times. Work is taxing on the mind and the physical entity too… I’m being pounded from all available ways. I sure hope I can cope with everything and turn out stronger… and some day I must learn to control myself more… indeed…
“Time to go dude, its 2am already. Your martini managed to survive this time round.” He ended that statement with the most brotherly smile. That’s what friends are for isn’t it? They just know when to be there, and say the right things at the right time.
“You too dude, take care!” I replied together with a wave from my hand as I walked out of the front door. The night is chilly again. I can almost feel my breath freeze the moment it leaves my mouth… it’s a slow walk home from now…
posted by luxy @ 1:17 AM
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