I'm gone
I like to tell people, go rest more, sleep more and don’t get yourself sick. Drink more water and eat more fruits.I care for the people around me…
But I couldn’t care for myself…
It must have been something wrong that I did in my last life that I can never redeem. I can never sleep well at nights; I can never have a good quality rest. I wake up like a zombie everyday and drag myself out of bed.
‘Stay in bed’ did I hear you say? Well, I wish I could. My body won’t let me. It rather I am in a state of semi-consciousness than fresh throughout the day. It will never be weird to see me in the darkest shade of grey when I am alone, be it in the canteen drinking coffee or in the LT listening to a lecture.
I knew how tired I was yesterday… I fell asleep in a canteen right smack in the mid-afternoon. The cicadas are buzzing away, the sun was in its most mesmerizing mood, and there was a slight buzz of human activity. I was only awaken when the drilling nearby started.
This is my daily routine.
This is a curse.
I wish I can be there for everyone 24hours a day. And she was right, this is a promise that I can never make.
Because I’m human after all… a Life so Cursed…
I don’t get the rest I tell people to get,
I never sleep enough like I tell people to,
I don’t drink as much water as I knew I should,
I get sick faster than you can spell ‘Alakazam’,
And I always forget my fruits.
And that’s why I want to see others resting more, so they won’t end up like me.
I’m tired…
And I wish to see people happy. I want them to be happy. It’s always sad to see people around you, all sad and blue.
Over studies, over money, over friends and family, over relationships.
And seeing them making even perceived wrong decisions, that’s even worse…
I seen it, been through it, and seen it over and over again so many times.
Deju vu…
Words spoken are cheap. Its words from the Heart and Soul that really matters.
If you can’t keep a Promise, don’t make it. If you don’t feel Sorry, don’t say it.
These two words carry so much heartfelt meaning to it. And to see people degrading them to the lowest level of eternity…
I can’t bear to see it…
My Heart hurts, like a cleaver running through it…
My Soul weeps, like the torrential rain of autumn…
Just these two words, hurting so many Hearts and breaking so many Souls.
I’m tired…
The Brolly that shelters, I’ll carry,
The Journey You travel, I’ll ferry.
For others I do my utmost, for myself… it’s a mystery…
An Angel? Far from it…
For a reason? Yesh indeed… to see You happy… and every one of You…
I bear my Heart to where the Light shines bright.
My Soul will do whatever that’s right.
To relieve my Life from its fateful plight.
Thus so my Spirit can have a peaceful flight.
Be deliriously happy…
And open the Heart…
Cause if You haven’t tried, You haven’t lived…
I’m gone…
posted by luxy @ 9:02 AM
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